At his 65th birthday, Silas gathered his friends close, “I need to tell my story. It’s the next step.” I was among twenty people more than willing to listen.
There were twists and turns for sure. He took us through painful betrayals, confusing landscapes, hello’s, and good-bye’s. Throughout, you could hear a pin drop as he spoke. And when his story quieted, and a place of love emerged, we triumphed with him.
But how’d you get through it? The question hung in the air. His answer came. “I kept asking myself, am I choosing love, or am I choosing fear — and how about now?”
It’s not a new question for me, but one that landed solid that evening. I guess its what I needed to hear. It cut right through a particularly thick fog wrapped around my heart that night. I suspect I’m no different than any one of us here. The fog comes and goes. But tonight, Silas’ courage burned right through.
Coincidentally, I’ve been learning that Sanskrit has three words Iccha, Jnana, Kriya, that together, speak to this idea: When we’re called to act, we’re also called to discern which actions serve us most deeply. The teaching goes on to say, desire wears many hats, it can lead us into blind alleys or into truly blissful gardens. But how do we know the difference? How do we know when fear is pretending to be love? It’s tricky. The fog obscures.
This morning, I got on my yoga mat, Iccha, and was reminded of how I can lift the fog through my own actions. Each posture melts and awakens my heart so that I’m no longer vulnerable to the confusion of fear’s fog, Jnana. Relief.
That’s steps one and two. It is however, an entirely different level of clarity needed to take the action that chooses ‘love’ over the ‘fear’, Kriya. That’s where I welcome the inspiration of others. Thank-you Silas.